I'm a huge sale or TJ Maxx (or equivalent) type of shopper. I love nice clothes but I feel too guilty buying them at full retail price. Sometimes if I see something I want I will go home w/o it and then have non-buyers remorse and go back and get it. But at least that way I'm not buying a bunch of stuff on a whim, which is where I think many of us get in trouble. (Also, Sara, I can't stand taking things back.)

As for personal style, mine has morphed from brand name whore (teens and 20s) to comfy, slightly unique articles and accessories. I could probably do all my shopping at Super Target.

Also, I try things on. Even tank tops and t-shirts. I have a size 0 dress (wanted it form-fitting) and size 10 shorts (wanted them baggy) It just depends on the brand, the style, and how I want it to hang. I've shopped with women who will try something on and it's too small but they won't dare try it on in the next size up.

Okay, I could go on but I really need to work on revisions ;)

I really loved shopping with you and Melissa Walker a few months back, BTW. It's nice having someone tell me if something looks great or not-so-great in the dressing room. As a mom of 3 little boys, it's usually my 6 year-old who helps me, haha

I have three criteria for clothes shopping. I think about cost per wear, whether or not the item(s) could be worn with items already in my closet, and whether or not it makes me feel good when wearing it. They're all on a sliding scale (meaning each item is evaluated separately on it's own merits) but shopping this way has helped me keep my closet full of clothes that I love. The saying that people wear 20% of their wardrobe 80% of the time thankfully doesn't apply to me, and I hope it doesn't for you, either.

Sarah - Oh, it totally applies to me! That's my problem. I knew you would have some precise way of analyzing. How do you resist impulse buys?

Wendy - "Sometimes if I see something I want I will go home w/o it and then have non-buyers remorse and go back and get it." I need to do more of that - put things on hold for a day while my lust cools down, and then make a decision while I have my wits about me.

I have two rules for impulse buying: it can't be more than $20, and if it is, I give it a couple days. If I can't stop thinking about it, I go back and get it then.

Sara this is a great post!

When I was in my teens and twenties--I was really really into fashion, devoured Vogue magazine like candy, and dressed in a somewhat theatrical, trendy way.

Now, I've kind of fallen into a uniform of jeans, cute top, heels whenever I go out. I sometimes wonder if my years spent as a flight attendant and having to wear a uniform influenced that new love of "reach for it without thinking" way of dressing.

I still love clothes and shopping (mostly online these days) but won't buy something if it doesn't fit my lifestyle. Like, there's a really cute designer dress that I really want--but, since I spend most of my time at home in my sweatpants in front of my computer, it will not be making its way into my closet. And I'm pretty sure a couple weeks from now (if not sooner) there will be a new obsession that I won't purchase either!

And so it goes . . .

Sarah - $20??? Wow, you are disciplined! (And I know you hate it when one uses multiple questions marks and/or exclamation marks. Tee hee!!!!)

Alyson, that's the thing. I keep shopping for this life I don't have. Not only is there the self-employment thing, but I live in the west and it's very casual out here. You wear your *nice* Wranglers to the opera. So there's a lot of stuff I love but would never really have the opportunity to wear. Like this Banana Republic dress I got yesterday. It's so pretty but seriously when and where am I going to wear the thing? It will hang in my closet making me feel stupid...

Sorry, I don't really like shopping. I try to avoid it at all costs.

Sara, Hello first off nice to meet you online.. I followed your twitter link...I read your book Story of a Girl and I just loved it, also because I grew up in San Bruno--the Tanforan mall, oh yeah!

But great post about shopping, I am an avid, unapologetic, incorrigible shopper. There are way too many things in my closet with tags still on. I figure after two years I don't feel bad about it anymore and I give them away without feeling terrible.

Here's the thing: you can either suck it up or just dress up. Which is what I do. Yes, California is casual, but I know I look so much better in good clothes and dressed up clothes than in the t-shirt and cargo pants look. Basically only the naturally athletic or the exercise obsessed look good in the California look.

I know because I have TRIED to look as carefree and casual like those girls and I just look... FAT.

The rest of us look so much better dressed up and in fashion. So wear the banana republic dress, but with flip flops! Or with a cardigan which always casual-s (is that a verb) things up.

But wear it -- even tho you are just going to the movies or wherever. You know? You will look better and feel better.. And people will notice and appreciative. I always think dressing up is a nice compliment to make for people. I remember reading something about Alice Trillin once, how she dressed up for her students to inspire them.

As for how to have personal style, I would say find the things that appeal to you and that look good on you and buy those things as much as possible.

It is a long hard road to it though. I have just recently realized I can never wear: dresses with an hourglass shape (as much as I would love to but I never had waist not even when I was not eating french fries in my 20s), maxi dresses and spaghetti straps.

I now only buy dresses and tops with sleeves, are shifts or a-line, and I can wear short because I have my legs and that's all I have at this point.

You have to be pretty honest about yourself and your body, and once you figure out, that if you wear things that are flattering and that also appeal to you (gothic, victorian clothes? romantic bohemian? 90s minimalist) you will have a good uniform to go with.

I agree with Alyson -- uniforms are key. (Hi Alyson! I don't think we've ever met but I've enjoyed your books over the years). And your uniform can change every so often. For most of the 90s I only wore white starched shirts and black Helmut Lang pants. Until suddenly I felt I just looked like catering staff!

Happy shopping!
xoxo
Mel

Melissa - I do just need to say screw it and dress up sometimes for no reason! I have figured out that I like a uniform, too, which for me is jeans (usually boot cut medium rise), t-shirt, and sneakers. So I have put more effort into finding interesting T-shirts and funky sneakers. But not too funky! One thing I have discovered is I am not "funky." I limit my ambitions to "cool" and mostly succeed in "not dorky."

I also have discovered I just do not like flowery, flowy, things. Also, I am the opposite of you: hourglass works for me. Empire waist does NOT. I don't care if people say it is universally flattering. I disagree. If my waist is not accented, I look more or less like a rectangular pillar (if you can be 5'2" and a "pillar") - with empire I look like rectangular pillar with boobs. Who is possibly pregnant. I have gone out in shifts or babydoll styles and still regret. Deeply.